Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Chapter 11

     " I heard " Chloe stood there against the door with Tyler just standing next to her smiling at me not saying a word. I smiled back and ignored their presence while I took down my jacket that was partially drowned with May's tears. I put it round my neck and look down my own footsteps moving forward to touching on Chloe's toes. I didn't even look her in the eye, Tyler pulled her to make way for me to get into the house. I went in to find the television still on, and a bowl of popcorn that has not been dig in staring back at me. Mum came out from behind the kitchen counter with Jeff in her arms." You're back home early hon?" she asked bouncing Jeff up and down in her arms, could tell my baby brother was enjoying it. I looked over my shoulder to find Chloe and Tyler already hanging up their jackets in the closet near the stairs. " Yeah, I hope you don't mind me bringing some friends over mum." I said in a lazy tone, not wanting to make it so persuading for them to enter my house without invitation.I made an irritating face to mum and she got the signal. " Come on Jeff, let's watch movie in Mummy's room alright? You kids have fun, I'll be upstairs if you guys need anything" up she goes holding on to the bowl of popcorn with the other holding on to Jeff. 


I walked over to the kitchen table, pulling me out a chair and just sat my heavy ass down while I pour myself a warm milk. I could tell I was in a middle of a hot soup, though I know this thing has nothing to do with me, but its hard to explain to some people like Chloe. They both grabbed a chair and sat next to me. Chloe was just beside me and Tyler was sitting across the table, he was a smart boy to not get involved in some girl talk that was about to get bumpy. I was picturing in my mind that me and Chloe pouncing on each other while we grab each other's hair till we both go bald.  That would be a picture I would love to paint. I stare at Tyler, I could tell he was obviously restless, and that Chloe must have forced him to accompany her over here. But no questions were to asked for now, as I'm the one who was about to get questioned like in locked up prison for all I care. And Chloe would be the one walking around the table in circles, with loaded questions in the palm of her hands. " Well, what happened??" she asked as she took the glass away from my hand, putting it in the middle of the table where my short hands couldn't find the need to actually reach it. "They broke up" I said, nodding my head down, brushing my legs with the other. My back was already sweating, the heat was flowing and I could taste the hot air by just closing my eyes. " Weren't you listening? I already said. I heard" she said. " I heard they broke up, but I want to know why" she continued. I smiled and looked away, wondering what she really wants me to say. Wondering what she really wants me to confess under the light.


   " Ask May if you want to know anything" I got up from my seat and headed to the door while I opened and slammed it behind me still keeping my lips sealed. Tyler came out slowly, and he tip toed to my way quietly, not wanting to burst the flames that I'm about to light. " I'm sorry about Chloe" he said in a soft tone voice. Feeling rather guilty of accompanying Chloe over to my place." Its fine Ty, its not your fault. I deserved to be blamed actually. But no one really knows what happened." I said, sweeping my hair across my face. Chloe came shortly after, slamming the door behind her and just stood right in front of me. Our position almost made us kiss, I could already sense her breath breathing down my cheeks. She bit her lips while she said "You hurt May" Tyler quickly pulled her away, and got down from the porch thwacking down the garden pathway to his car. She was waving her hands all over pushing her way as if she was the one being irritated. I never see Chloe this defensive before, and it made me realize I lost a best friend at that moment. She wasn't even my friend anymore. We were cold blooded enemies, and I'm the one who was about to fall in the hot pit. I watched Tyler as he drive away, and I just sat down the stairs and burst out in tears. Something to be stressed about, but I wasn't really sure what was the main occasion to be crying about. Everything was too horrified for me to even start a sentence. I was blurred at the moment, having a best friend calling me a backstabber without even saying the true words. Having people judge you for what you are not when they're the one that knows you best. Things change once you screw up. And it this situation, I did screw it up. 


    I head up to my bedroom, and I grabbed my pillow and pressed it against my chest, wiping off the tears trying to be strong and steady. My laptop screen was already flickering, I went to it to find 4 messages from Jeremy through IM. I switched off my laptop and just went back to bed, trying to get some rest. And my phone went ringing. Again, from all the person I wish to call me, Jeremy was on the line. I threw my cell across the bed, hitting one of my make up box falling down my carpet floor. " WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW!!" I screamed from across my room. My voice was echoed alright. I was so irritated. Jeremy only wants to make things worst for me and my girls, why should I bother even looking through all the things he wish to say to me? He is nothing to me, and he will never be anything to me. I whispered to myself, but currently I was half dead to even realize what was I even talking about. I had no one to talk to. Two of my best friends are just so fucked up. One just broke up and the other has no trust left in me at all. It even made me wonder if she was the actual Chloe that I knew back in pre-k. Many things were doubting my own mind. And it wasn't the easiest thing for me to do, judging on how close was I with them. 


     It was nearly 8.30pm that night, I took my jacket and headed down town to the furthest cafe I could find across the road. Excused myself from dinner with my family, need a little one and one time for myself. Only a couple of cars were parked horizontally apart from counting my own as I reached the place call " Woody's Parlor:". It was like a dead desert station in the middle of nowhere. It was frightening from me to even go there, but weird things get your mind off easy when you're in a mess. Everything works out perfectly. I walked into the cafe, finding no one staring at me, just a silent crowd. A couple of people mingling and minding their own business. Its kinda sad to see awfully dreaded curtains that are moth eaten, which hasn't been changed the last time I got here when I was around 5 years old. How things have change as modern places take place. I ordered myself a cup of hot chocolate. The waitresses and cooks were more like granny and grand pa's to me. Still working on night shifts while trying to keep this place running. I sat at the last table of the cafe, behind the counter where no one could bother me. I took out my cell phone and there were 13 missed calls from Jeremy and 6 text from him. If it was an urgent matter he would probably be sitting next to me right now. Just as I was about to put my cell down, he called again. My ring tone was blasting across the hall, and I was sure of that everyone was already putting on their ear plugs just right then, I had no choice but to answer the call. " Yeah " I said, standing up and headed out the door, while I gave a signal to the waitress that was about to serve my hot chocolate. " I'll be right back" and she nodded and gave a smile at me. "What is it J?" I said, walked down to the parking lot. I was already having goose bumps for not having any cars drive by at that time. The moon was shinning brightly above me, gave me one of those scenes in Jeepers Creepers. What a horror movie.


"Where are you?We need to talk" he said. " I'm busy at the moment, make that every moment." I thought for a second "Go away J, nobody likes you. You hurt May!" I continued. He kept quiet for a moment and so did I. " What do you want?" I asked again and leaned against my car." I broke up with her for a reason Lea.." he said, breathing heavily on the line. " I'm not going through this again okay Jeremy? What's done is done. You're a jerk and you can't change that" I off my cell and went head up to the cafe. As I opened the door, someone jolted me. I looked up to find Jeremy holding on to his cell, and closing it as he smiled at me. " What are you doing here?" we both asked each other at the same exact time. "Go away" I pushed him away while I head back to my table. My hot chocolate was already warm about to get cold. I cuddled myself and pulled my legs up against my chest. Jeremy came and grab a seat and sat across me. I sipped my drink and his legs couldn't stop but making odd noises that blew my mind off moving the table. "Seriously, what are you doing here?" I put down the cup caressively, making some of it spill on my shirt. Jeremy quickly grab hold of the cup and moved it away from me. " Careful alright, you don't want to burn your body this time" he said. I looked away and breathe heavily, feeling so irritated, I just kept quiet. "What do you want?" I said and closed my face with both my palms, feeling so exhausted. " I wanted to clear things out between you and me, and everyone else." he said. I didn't want him to explain, I didn't want him to say anything. I just wished real hard that he would back off and leave me alone at that time. I looked up to him. "Why me? Between me and Chloe? Why me!?" I said. I couldn't handle the pressure and he knew what I was feeling at that time that made him even more quiet. "You know what? I don't want to hear any of this shit alright? You need someone to talk to? Find someone else" I got up and took my jacket. Before I was about to go. Something distracted me that made me sat my ass back down. 


"Does she know?" the voice sounded so familiar whom sounded like May. I sat back down and Jeremy was already giving me a sign telling me to ease drop more. " She doesn't, not about us" it sounded like Leon, but I wasn't quiet sure but to keep my eyes on Jeremy. He didn't even look eager to listen, he took a sip of my hot chocolate and gave a smile back at me." I'm just glad he finally broke up with you" Leon said. My mouth was already half opened, and I didn't even look at Jeremy's expression but he moved his fingers towards my hands, and grabbed it tight. "I love you May" Leon said. And just before I could even felt my heart stop beating, Jeremy pulled me over to his side and grab hold of me in his arms, kept asking me to hush. And I still kept quiet, I wasn't even tearing up. Not just yet. I pushed him away, and went over to the other side. Jeremy wanted to pull me back but it was too late. I stood there, looking at Leon holding on to May in his arms, and just right there my hands and legs were numb, and tears were already coming down fast. Looking at how a best friend could betray a friend. I shouted from the top of my lungs " LEON!" he looked over at his shoulder and let go of May's hands that instant when he saw me just keeping my dead eyes on them, not even twitching. May and Leon stood up and the whole place was as quiet as a dead town. May held on to Leon's hands. "Lea, its not what you think it is" she said. "Is it?" I said. " I heard what you both were talking about May." " How could you..and you?" I continued, pointing my finger at them keeping my eyes still on Leon. I felt so betrayed that I wanted to just slap them both across the face. " All the crying, all the crying about Jeremy? All of that...was a set up?" I said, facing May in straight in the eye. Jeremy came from the back counter and grab hold of my hand while we walked towards them. " May kept her eyes on Jeremy hands as he held my hands tight. And Leon was just standing there feeling sorry for me. I didn't need any charity case at that time, I just wanted to move." You're a real jerk !!" I shouted at Leon. Jeremy looked over at May and said " I knew this all along. That's why I let you go in the first place" he pulled me away and we walked out the door. I bend down on my knees and sobbed softly. Jeremy lifted me up and hold me in his arms tight again. Leon came running down the stairs trying to pull me back. " Let her go Leon. " Jeremy still grabbed hold of my right hand. "Let me explain" Leon said to me, but I kept my head on Jeremy's shoulder, not wanting to give a minor second look. I felt humiliated, felt so pathetic. Felt so stupid.


 Leon gave a little pull of my hands and I waved it off strongly. But he tried to grab hold of me again. " I said, leave." Jeremy said to him,defensively. " You both deserve each other. So be gone" he said. May came running down the stairs and wanted to touch me but I pushed her away. " We're done." I said. Leon was too stubborn to let me go, he reached out for me again. "Dude seriously" Jeremy punched him in the nose and he fell down on to the ground. " Just leave!" May holding on the Leon while he wipe the blood of his nose. I looked at them, and I just walked away with Jeremy and drove off. 


     In the car, there was complete silence. I was sniffing and wiping my tears with a handkerchief. Jeremy was speeding recklessly I thought we both were about to die. I look at him, and from there I knew what pain he was going through knowing his best friend fell in love with his own girl. He turned to look at me. " Stop crying, its not worth it" and he grabbed hold of his steering wheel. "I'm sorry" of all the right words to be saying, I choose to apologize to him at that moment. Jeremy stared at me " Its not your fault. Things happen Lea, I couldn't change it. You couldn't either".


"Even if you wanted to?" I continued.


" I can't believe this is actually happening" I kept flashing back on the times when Leon was mine to be, when Leon and me were more than friends, and now all that's left of us was a blind mystery that never did existed in my world. " He never loved me" I said and continue sobbing.
 "For god sakes Lea, he doesn't deserve a girl like you." 


" No one deserves me? I deserve no one then" I snapped, tired of everything around me, tired of listening to a single word of love. Tired of believing what supposed to be true. I didn't want to know the truth anymore. I didn't want to know anything but to walk out the door. " Love does not exist in my world. No one loves me" 


" Don't say that," he said " Not everyone is perfect Lea. You must know" yeah, like I never heard that one before. For once I could just use some speech to actually make sense. 


" May is" I said, because this sounded final. I wanted him to agree with me that guys like May and Chloe better than me. I'm like a trash cupid in a waste. He only sat there and shook his head, his fingers on his lap as if the very words I'd said disappointed him truly. 


"Even Leon was in love with her" I said quietly, seeing him again looking back at me. 
" Lea, I can't deal with this" he said, hitting his hands on the steering wheel, suddenly angry. " I don't know what to say to you"
" You saw what happen. And what happen back there has nothing to do with you!" his tone grew louder. 


"You don't have to say anything then" I said, surprised to hear him raise his voice, lose patience with me. This wasn't how I thought he would react so sudden seriously.


" Stop the car" I said, and he went with the words not wanting to argue with me. I took my bags and got out of the car. "I've got to take you home" he said. The storm clouds were grouped high above us, black and foreboding with a blue sky peeking out behind. It was still sticky and hot, but the breeze was changing, now cooler and heavy, sending grass clipping swirling by the side of the road. I opened the door and jumped out, slamming it behind me as my feet hit the ground.


" Lea!" Jeremy yelled at me, stopping the car again as I cut across the side of the road. " It's getting ready to pour, don't be stupid.Come on, get back in the car."


" No," I said softly, knowing he couldn't hear me. It was really raining now. I kept walking, hearing Jeremy yell my name but knowing I couldn't go back to him. He ran to me with his face dripping as the rain pour down us both. " Are you crazy!" he said. " Are you?" I asked him. 


" Remember what I said about I had my own reasons of letting May go?" he wipe the rain drops that were dripping all over my face. I was really cold and my teeth kept chattering. " I didn't break up with her just cause she was involve with Leon" he stopped. I stared back at him with a big question mark on my face. The thunder was already storming down.

" I fell in love with someone Lea"


I looked up at him, and he pulled me close in his arms. He pulled my cheeks up as he close his eyes and lay his lips softly on mine.



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