Chapter 13

    Have anyone ever asked you a question you’ve been eager to answer, but when finally the question pops up you just go on dangling, finding excuses to get away from being mocked or slack of information not to be known by the people you should have not said to in the first place? A pencil was on the palm of my hands, spinning it round and round like a tornado using my finger tips skills which only some people knows how to. Apart from a girl in my class that taught me about this boring old thing, the only thing that got me spinning during my exams when I’m usually the first one to finish my paper. And teacher would go around my table, looking for misuse statement to catch me cheating. Which I never did. Wanted to- but never did.


     The newspaper’s were just flipping by itself in front of me, screaming in silence asking me to read them. But I ignored almost every movement that was happening during that very morning. Dad was already at work, and Mum was looking through the cook books about baking cookies. She was never really a baker for starters, but she isn’t those who gave up things easy, especially when it has to do with her loving husband and her adorable baby name Jeff. I scrape my knees and just started scrapping everywhere, leaving some red patches on my body. Sweat was already flooding around my neck. 


    “Lea, aren’t you suppose to be at work today?” she put down the bowl and washed her hands near the sink. “Well? It’s already 10.30, you should be off now. Don’t tell me you created havoc at the store now did you?”she said, pulling a chair and sat beside me uninvited. I lifted my head up and rounded my whole hair in a bun and let them go, and did it over and over again. Looking at the wall clock in the middle of the kitchen, ticking awfully slow like a tortoise loose his way back home. Or a snail that was too lazy to even look for his home. “Lea” mum banged the dining table, making both my legs stomped hard on the ground in surprise. “Yeah, alright..I’m going” got up from my seat and went upstairs. I got dress and put on a purple collar long sleeve shirt that my aunt got for me when I turned 16, never worn and eventually wasn’t torn. Put on my black jeans with some accessories on my wrist and neck. Looked into the mirror, I totally looked like a wrecked up rocker that was abandoned by a fatal manager, trying to sneak back stage and gave a full performance to gain her popularity again.


 I had good fashion sense, but I wasn’t about to change anything that was already planned out for me literally. Went down to the porch, reaching out for my car keys from my tight jeans, feeling a little fat at that moment, a sigh to myself while I breathed my stomach in, trying to make me look slimmer. But meant no difference to myself. Walking along the garden, looking for my car but stopped as I realize my car was nowhere to be found. “ Oh Shit!” remembered that I left my car in Woody’s Place last night, and slammed against my mind about Jeremy’s promise about picking me up to get my car back. I turned around, in an intention to drive my mum’s car instead. But talked too soon, as a honk was heard repeatedly in a beat and melody that kept my ears burned. I turned around to find Jeremy getting out of the car and walking towards me, taking my bag from me and putting around his shoulder. Looked like a sissy, with that handbag picturing in him. “Let’s go” he said, grabbing my hands and we both got into the car. 


“Have you eaten anything yet?” he asked, strapping on to his seat belt before starting the engine. Me just smiling and playing my car keys strapping my own seat belt, feeling a little awkward around his presence. “I’m okay, we should just go. To pick up my car” I said as he gave a full speed and we drove off. “No breakfast?” he asked again, in a disappointed tone. But I wasn’t in a mood for any food, though my stomach was grumbling, but still kept them in to make me look slimmer. “Maybe lunch” I said, trying to change the topic and still in a way rejecting his view of asking me out. “I’ll pick you up after work, just give me a ring during lunch time alright?” I looked at him and he just smiled. I smirked but in my mind wasn’t as quite flattering as what he was doing at that time to me make me felt insecure and somewhat calling him a control freak. “ I don’t like my schedules to be planned Jeremy” I snapped, only this time my voice was a little further than his ears could hear clearly as I bend down to grab my purse that was about to tip over my toes. “Just send me to Woody’s Place, I’ll get my car, and you won’t have to drive me around after this” explained. 


We came across a junction that split the road into two, and going left was to Woody’s Place, but then just as I was about to look left. He gave a big turn on his steering wheel, making my head hit the window in a sudden reaction. “Where do you think you’re going? Woody’s Place is that way?” I pulled his shirt, making him slanted to my side and he struggled as he hold on to the steering wheel. He was driving recklessly, and I was only making him loose focused, but I was in a total tantrum. Some drivers were already honking their way, passing us by. Some even showed a good signage of middle fingers out their window. I kept my mouth shut with both my hands up tight against my chest. I didn’t wanted to blow my head off, but it was as hot as a boiling volcanoes about to demolish a few hill slopes. And Jeremy, was the sloppy hill slopes. 


   The streets were busy, and everyone was either hanging on to their big brown groceries bags or just pushing their trolleys and baby strollers. The car suddenly stopped and just as I know it, I was already at my working place. Mr Hampton’s boutique shop, just waiting for me to enter. It looked spooky from the outside, some of the lightings wasn’t lit on. Wonder who was already actually there, wonder if Chloe showed up to even actually care. “Will you be alright?” Jeremy asked and slightly putting his hands on mine. “I’ll be fine.” I said, opening to door and getting down. Just as my feet meet with the ground. Chloe came out with big boxes in her hands, and she stood there as she saw me, getting down from Jeremy’s car. I kept my head steady high, and waved Jeremy goodbye while I make small little footsteps towards Chloe, thinking of a precise way to start a day without pulling each other’s hair or getting on each other’s nerves. “You’re late” she said, lifting the box a little higher now, looking at the edge of her side, trying to see her legs almost made herself toppled as I quickly grab the boxes from her. “I got it” and put the empty boxes into the recycle bins. I rubbed my hands together. “ Come on, there are plenty more inside that needs unpacking” she went in, and never noticed that she had a hair cut, a little shorter now, much shorter till I could actually see her bone structure of her face very clearly. Cooling myself down, strapping myself from my jacket and looked around for May. 


     “Have you seen May?” I asked straightforward. “She’s at the back, sorting up some shoes that just came in earlier today” she said, calmly but could tell she was too lazy to even lift her chin up to look at me. I looked around the place, and some things have changed. Like the tables were in a pattern triangle form, and some new wallpapers were stick on, with glorious abstract art. The whole place looked like a beautiful mani padi after a make-over. A make-over which I didn’t had any part of it. “You did this?” I asked, smoothing my hands against the folded blouse that was laid out on the racks neatly stacked. Smoothing my hands to the beautiful cheetah pattern curtains which I find rather catchy to look at. Amazed, and mesmerize with the atmosphere around me. “ Me and May did, when you’re not around” she turned and went behind the counter, almost hitting me on the shoulders unexpectedly but must say on purpose, trying to give me a dent on what happened and how she isn’t forgiving me still on that time.


 I said nothing but looked at the clock that hasn’t been hung up yet, still stacked in the box, trying to make way through the materials of cut cloth. It was barely lunch time, and my idea was to head on to the coffee hut and grab something rather than being locked up here with people I realize that didn’t want me to be around anymore. Felt rather hurt at first, but things just got better. In my words, things just went for the “worst” kind ever. 


    “We’ll be opening the store soon though, Mr Hampton gave his orders” she pointed to this piece of white long size paper like it was meant for us to do chores, but only its written in big black bold of markers saying that the boutique shall open at 11.30am and no excuses was to be made. The funny part that made me chuckled to myself was that he wrote in a tiny red ball point pen, and stated there “p/s: no fighting girls” and “Love, Mr Hampton at the end” it was kinda an adorable good luck speech to be flaunted as we’re doing. I packed the boxes and stashed it to one side before throwing them into the recycle bin all together in a row. Chloe opened the door for some fresh air, and cold wind just start breezing through the store, making the wind chimes that was hanging on fine thick thread jiggling noises reminded me of my cousin colliding his sets of fork and spoon during dinner. Making irritating noises that just runs some itchy feeling down chattering teeth. 


 “Where’s May?” I asked again, scratching my nose by habit. 


“She’s behind, near the storage area. Could you like, get her? I need a hand on these” sounded so sarcastic like I wasn't invisible enough till she needed May’s help instead of mine. Feeling rather invisible, I just made parch to the store. The door was slightly opened, and I could see May from far, smiling and giggling in a ticklish way. I was about to open the door, when my eyes just caught fire as I saw Leon right there, kissing and embracing May in his arms. Just hugging her tight, made her let go of the things she was holding in her arms before. Feeling rather uptight and sweating all around my arm pits as I was watching a romantic horror movie at the same time. Trying to make a conclusion about a bad romance going between the both of them. I hold my breath for the longest 25 second of my life, looking around as if someone will  catch me in deadly action.Observing and watching my own ex boyfriend making out with my best friend right at the storage of the place we happen to work together with.


 My eyes drew across his body language as he stroke her hair back, and when I only wish time would stop just then, that they were only just two statues not doing anything and never meant anything like those statues in the park, I never felt that hurt nor felt that stupid being in that very position that you just want to poke a needle in your eye and still wants to watch them continue on what they’re not supposed to be doing right in front of you. But you see readers, I was never that lucky to call it a “take one” it was already on action mode, and I’m just the customer, and unlikely sitter having the movie of her life right before her eyes. I took a step back, but my foot only asked me to watch more closely this time. I hold on to the door knob, and only one eye was peeking through the door. 


 Leon lifted and held on to May’s cheek and gave her a smooch on her lips. The scene of it, made me closed my mouth with my bare hands, pressing it hard on my face, like my lips was about to fall, but to realize my tears were already falling on my cheeks. I let go of the door knob, and a hard stomp was coming towards me. “ Lea, seriously. I asked you to get May remember?” – She grabbed the door knob and twist it. “Chloe don’t” I said, before I could stop. The door was already wide open, and I only kept my eyes on Chloe as her mouth was as wide as a whole fist could shove right in. “May, Leon?” she said. 


I only remembered Leon calling out my name, and me just running towards to door not wanting to stay any longer. I wasn’t sure where I was heading, but lucky for me the door was wide open so I didn’t had a hard time trying to open it as my tears were totally covering my sight. 


 Just as I was walking, a pair of hands stopped me with the intense feeling on my shoulders, happening to grab me tight, and then I knew I was already lying on the person’s chest. Hugging and sobbing, feeling rather vulnerable, and needed someone to be around with making me feel safe for just a couple of seconds.
 I was already outside, and somewhat a voice was calling out to me. “Lea, what’s wrong?-What happened?” my head was going overboard and I could feel my legs getting weakened. Blackness. 


I heard the voice, and it was replaying over and over again in my head. That was the only thing I heard, and I just saw total blackness.


       I was just about to fall into a dead sleep feeling a little nauseous at that time. And suddenly out of nowhere Chloe voice was heard “ Jeremy what is going on?” I quickly lifted my chin, finding Jeremy holding on to me. For some odd reason, I felt comfortable and just lay there in his arms. Ignoring that Chloe was there, making her feel invisible just a tad bit. “What?- What’s going on?” Jeremy said, grabbing my shoulders even tighter.


“Leon and May and and” I could tell she was looking at me, then back at Jeremy. “Now you’re with Lea. Seriously?” she stopped “Seriously?” she said again, wasn’t sure of her own tone of voice.