Thursday, March 17, 2011

Chapter 12

   The moment lasted for the longest 3 minutes ever, as his lips touched as smoothed on mine, all I can remember was listening to the thunder and lighting that was striking right above us. But it didn't matter, nothing matter. A dramatic reaction like those movies you see, kissing the rain scene. I just happen to have that trigger in me at that time. Having that soft toes crunched up into my sandals, all those great adrenaline rush just rushing through my veins, heart skipped a beat. And I wasn't even breathing to not want to screw myself breathing heavily down his nose.The clouds above us was getting thicker, and the wind blew stronger. Jeremy lifted my cheek and pulled me closer in his arms, and the pressure on my lips felt lighter as he grab hold of me and smile. I smirked back trying to figure what actually happen, or what the kiss actually meant. We had a moment, and the only moment I realize, I hated him for making me melt yet again falling in love all over again. " Let's go home" he took off his jacket, and put it over me while holding my hand and we ran towards the car as more rain started to drizzle. The weather only got heavier, and we were really drained and wet.

   He changed the gear, and we drove off right then. My eyes were glued to his body language, his little moves of having him wine down the window while he adjust the car side mirror.When his hands pulled down the seatbelt as he buckled it, and the way he put his hands on the steering wheel. Driving so steady, like one of those good F1 drivers I see on television. Without the helmet and the suit, he reminded me of those cool guys. He reminded me of a lot of stuff I eventually tend to forget sooner or later.I didn't realize I was actually looking at him without a twitching. My eyes were really glued. The thunder strike once again made me jump from my seat a little, holding on to his arm as he was changing gear. " You okay? I'll get you home soon" he said, patting my head with his other hand, the other still struggling on the wheel. I chuckled and got back to my seat, positioning myself, buckling myself safely and look out of the window, as the air con and the cold air made the window all misty. I started writing letters on the window. I wrote my name in big letters with a heart shape below. Jeremy moved over to me and whispered to my ear." Lea loves J" and he quickly head on back to his wheel. Leaving me blushing right there, wiping everything off. Feeling embarrassed that I just wanted to jump off my seat and walk home alone. Trying to think straight, many fuck up things were happening. One second your best friend was in love with your boy. And now you found out your best friend's boy was in love you? Was it a minor thing, about to be a big thing? Was it before or after. I never wanted to find out, I just kept quiet, and blew some hot air in the palm of my hands and I rubbed it all over my arms. Feeling so cold. No cars were on the highway, only a couple that I could find that passed by just very sudden. It was as me and Jeremy were the only ones that picked a wrong time to actually take a drive. " We'll pick your car from Woody's Place tomorrow. I'll pick you up okay?" he said, staring at me as he switched on the radio.

 I looked as he click on the red button, and music was starting to play, reminded me of Leon when I screwed his radio up, suddenly tears just fell down my cheeks without me realizing them hitting on Jeremy's hands as he wanted to push my hair behind my ears. I looked away and wipe them off, not wanting to be questioned by him. He knew I was crying, but he just kept driving. Lowering the music, and the more softer it got. The more I felt like crying as pictures of Leon kept haunting in my mind. The drive was as long as I could remember. It felt like a whole month in a torture chamber wanting to get off but couldn't find a way to get out.

   "You okay?" Jeremy stopped the car right in front of my house. The garbage can was half spilled and some of the tree trunk were even on my house porch. The wind was blowing heavily, and I could hear those soothing siren noise that some wind used to make, gave me the chills. I took off his jacket and handed back to him, but he never reached out for it. Just sat there, staring at me while he took off a handkerchief and wipe off my tears that was actually already dried out. I could feel the cloth touching on to my puffy red eye bags smoothly across my face. He put the handkerchief in the palm of my hands. " You need this more than I do. Keep the jacket too" he reached out for an umbrella behind the seat. Getting down the car with an umbrella, to my side of the car and opened the door for me. I got down, still shivering in cold, clinging on to him as we headed up to the porch. He stood next to me, waiting for me to get in home safely. His presence made me nervous to even open the door. Feeling his body heat just against me, most likely to even hug me. The door finally opened as I trigged the key a little tad bit. I opened the door, and Jeremy grab hold of my waist, turning me around facing him. He looked into my eyes, and I looked back at his. So dreamy and cloudy like the weather right above us. Full of mysteries, trying to figure him out intensionally. He pressed his lips on my forehead and I closed my eyes tight. " Good night " he said, walking down to his car with his umbrella and drove off.

    I couldn't explain what was happening, but to take a hot bath and get into bed. I walked into the kitchen to make me some hot chocolate. Jeff's baby bottle was left open in the sink, with half of his milk spilled. The cap of the milk bottle was left open. Everything in the kitchen was in a haywire condition, like some odd criminal ransacked it somehow. I pour myself some hot chocolate, and drank in the dark not switching on the kitchen light. Sitting on the highest stool next to the fridge, while I dry my hair with one of mum's kitchen cloth. Drying from the top of my head till the edge of my layered thin hair. I heard someone stomping down the stairs, heading towards the kitchen. " Lea?" Mum with her bath robe, and both her hands on her waist making her silk robe fold back by itself on her tummy as it scrunched up tight. But with her body figure, it was okay as fit and perfect. " Do you have any idea what time is it young lady?" she said standing in front of me, opening the fridge looking for something.

Pushing everything away, making irritating noises through my ears. " The milk is on the counter, near the sink" I said. She closed back the fridge door before pouring herself a glass of milk. She grab my wrist, and looked at my watch that was already half dead because it wasn't water prof for starters. " I know I'm late. Things got bumpy." I pulled back my wrist and stuff it behind Jeremy's jacket. "Whose jacket is this?" she took it up and started flinging it around. " Kinda big for you isn't it? Is it Leon's?" just I heard his name, I got down from the chair and put my cup in the dishwasher and sat my ass on the couch. " Its Jeremy's. " I said, hugging the cushions tight. Mum just sat next to me as I lifted my legs and lay them on her thighs. " Leon is in love with May." I said, about to cry again. " He never loved me mum..he...he.." I said, and Mum just gave me big hug. " It was a lie" I continue, punching the cushion this time. " Everything was a lie."

" I'm sure there must be a misunderstanding baby" for a second I thought someone would actually live the hurt I'm feeling then, but no one was there to listen. Not even my own parent. I kept quiet and just wipe my tears. Excused myself and ran back upstairs into my room. Slamming the door behind me, feeling rather angry and depressed at the same exact time. I took down the Jacket, and strapped myself naked. Had a hot shower for more than an hour, just feeling rather relax and alone, still insecure about what happen before. I tilt my head and it hit one of the shampoo's tumbling down on the tiles.

     My cell vibrated through my jeans, making buzzing sounds. I got up still feeling naked and shove my hand in my dirty wet jeans and reached for my wet cell phone. An unknown caller was on the line. I didn't want to answer, but I still click the green button, and never gave a " Hello" but to listen and shut my mouth up while I dip my feet into the bath tub again. Waiting for the other person of homophobia on the next line that was as quiet as me myself. " hello?" I said, impatiently." Lea?" I stopped and lifted the cell phone away from me. " Yes? Who is this?"sounded aggregated. I covered myself with a towel and head to my edge of the bed, where I just shook my hair like an animal to get them dry easier. " It's me Tyler"

"Ty?" - " Whatssup?" I said, tossing my hair all over the place, and just spinning round and round like a dancing mini ballerina on center stage. Where the lime light is only on you, and everyone just pause as you strike an awesome pose. Looking at myself in the mirror, and pucker my lips, while I touched them with my fingers, trying to feel the same exact moist kiss that Jeremy had landed on my lips. I was too in love with the reflection of myself, forgotten that Tyler was still on the line. " Lea! " he shouted, made me flip the cell phone, as it fell on my feet. Hitting my big toe, as I jumped up and down in pain. I crawled over and grab the cell. " Yeah, sorry" I said still grabbing hold on to my towel that was half slipping down my shoulder.

   "  I heard " he said. The phrase where Chloe caught me in bad action, the one I could relate of having no conversations with. I wasn't eager to hear the rest. But Tyler wasn't like her, so I just decided to listen through it all, even when I dislike having them bursting through my ears. "About?" I said, looking through my dressing table, picking on what to wear for my pajamas." About Leon and May, and Leon " he stopped.
" I dumped him" I said, point blank, flat out, not thinking about a single thing more to cover my stupidity and humiliation that is already happening." I'm sorry about that " he said. " I really didn't know" he continued with a  heavy down pour down his breath. " Its not your fault Ty, I'm just glad, it happened before anything was about to get serious. Which I know, wouldn't " I sounded so strict that it scared the hell out of me, in a minute there I wasn't thinking about Leon but Jeremy. " I'm fine now." I said again.

   " I don't wanna talk about it actually" I said, shoving one of my hands through my giant shirt pajamas, and putting my head through the hole. " I just wanted to know if you need anything. Just give me ring" I hold on to the phone and thought for a second. " You're using an unknown number. You do realize that right?" I said and  chuckled. " Oh yeah, let me call you then. I'm kinda outside. So my credit is kinda low" he said.

"Aww, sweet of you Tyler, thanks again." I said, finally wearing my whole pajamas. Still drying my hair with the towel, and tossing it away. " Anything else?".-

"Nothing I guess, hey I better go. You take care alright Lea?" he said, and ended the call. I put my cell phone into my closet under my dirty laundries, the place where I know, even vibrations could be heard. I lay on my bed. And looked to the picture of the three of us together beside my night stand. I hold the picture frame up, we looked so stunningly happy, like no bond could break us sister hood apart. Anger was in me, Hurt was all around me. Chloe and May isn't beside me, and the person who I'm in love with, is now in love with someone else. And the person who I once hated, now is the only one who was there for me. And to save me from all these misery, I'm still looking for a way out of here. Only people who I know would be there, aren't there anymore. I took up the frame and threw it out the window, I heard a loud breaking of shattered glass. And I just stood behind the curtain, taking one last look at our photos together, before I close the window and went back to bed, leaving our memories away for now.
    

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